Learning to Give, Curriculum Division of The LEAGUE

Well, it just depends. Like the work that I do professionally or the work that’s really the work that I love?

Right now I’m a research director for a Native American Indian-owned business and we do facilitation, strategic planning, research, evaluation and advocacy. We work a lot in Indian health policy nationally. We work quite a bit with Indian health service and alcohol and substance abuse. In fact, we just facilitated a national strategic planning for the Indian health service and alcohol and substance abuse. We facilitated a national consultation work group where we brought in all of the tribal leaders from around the national and program directors for alcohol and substance abuse programs. We helped develop this five-year strategic plan and a fund distribution methodology for some funds coming from Stevensville.

The other work that we do is research. Like we’re working with the Centers for Disease Control on a disease surveillance with tribes. There’s just not enough information. We don’t know enough about tribes and their health when we’re talking about hepatitis, sexually transmitted diseases and those kinds of things.

And then right now I am the project director for a national contract that we have with the National Council on Disability. It is a contract, a research project, that’s the first of its kind so there’s no pressure there! We’re researching the issues of government to government relationships between tribes and the federal government as it applies to the Americans with Disabilities Act. The title of our project is People with Disabilities Living on Tribal Lands. The question is how do we negotiate the delicate balance there between sovereign nations when the ADA applies. It’s more about inspiring tribal nations to adopt their own ADA or their own version of it to create tribal resolutions, laws, ordinances and initiatives to support tribal members and descendants with disabilities living on reservations. I developed with a team a whole tool kit that’s just been awesome. It’s something that’s been so sorely needed and so well received within the disability community and so it was an awesome learning experience for me. I’m working in the Indian community with Indian health policy through this particular position but it’s just really when you have numerous contracts within your organization, and then I’m the research director and so I need to have my hands in all of them.

It gets into that whole concept of multi-tasking and project management and travel and those kinds of things. So that’s pretty much the work that I do for a living. But the work that I do that is probably the work of my spirit is like my second job because I devote just as much time to that. And that is—I don’t even know how to articulate it—but it really is about the freedom from oppression of ideologies, of political oppression, of economic, of cultural. All of those pieces. It really is more in a way of learning and understanding my own cultural world view and being able to find ways to allow people to be in that world view and be okay with it and feel good about it. Because there’s such this push to be a white, middle-class American. It’s always like this is the ideal, this is what you want to be, this is what you aspire to be and what your children are learning in schools. And so my work is really fighting that kind of oppression in which Indian children are growing up and feeling like that their own culture is second best. The result and the reality of that is that we’re losing our languages; we’re losing that cultural world view. It’s like the saying that oppression is complete when the oppressed take on the values of the oppressor. That’s what I’m fighting.

A lot of it is involving myself. Say, for instance, right now I’m working on two different projects that I’m volunteering my time for at the state level. One of the projects is certifying native language teachers. What’s interesting about this is that here again there’s so many different levels and dimensions to it. It’s not just certifying Indian language teachers; we’re working with our state board of education which is the top when we’re talking about the public education system in Washington State. In fact on January 15 (2005), we’re going to our official hearing with the state board of education where we officially adopt this new Washington state administrative code. It’s the first in history that a government-to-government relationship between tribes and the state board of education [has been created] where the state board of education is recognizing and endorsing the tribes’ certifying teachers.

What’s so awesome is this is really piloting this government to government relationship where each tribe will negotiate their certification program with the state. So the tribe actually has their own internal processes for certifying a native language teacher with their own experts which are fluent speaking elders. They have their own standards and criteria for that certification. They say this person is qualified to teach—like say, for instance, my language is [Salfachine] language and therefore we feel that we certify them and then the state recognizes that.

It’s almost like a reciprocity agreement. So then that’s what we’ve been able to do is to set up this government to government relationship, this partnership and then the details of that partnership then get worked out around the certification. It’s just been so exciting. The elders are so thrilled because our culture has to compete with daily education processes and we try to have culture classes and language classes after school in the evening. It doesn’t work because then kids have sports, they have family time, and so where do we find time for our culture? It ends up becoming relegated to an extracurricular activity rather than being central.

We’re finding that children who feel centered and grounded in their own cultural identify can succeed more than others who don’t. And so that’s one project that we’re working on that has just been incredible. It’s been just a powerful journey. It’s been two years going on three years of constant meetings, brainstorming and getting outside of the box. Typically you would have to go through a university, but in this case the state is recognizing the tribes.

Isn’t it? So that’s one project that’s been something that I’ve been really working on and helping to educate the educators and those people that make decisions around education. Helping them to see education from a different cultural prospective. And the trick is in translating the worldviews. That’s where my real challenge is, but that’s where my training comes in, where my Ph.D. comes in in understanding the different worldviews and being able to be an interpreter. So that’s what I feel is like the gift that I give, understanding that whole western world view and understanding the tribal mind and being able to interpret and translate between the world views.

My Ph.D. is in traditional knowledge and in our culture what that means is native people—the knowledge that’s been handed down to us from the beginning of time. The traditional knowledge is an earth-based knowledge. It’s indigenous. It comes from the earth. It comes from our experience in life. It comes from an earth mother kind of culture. The Ph.D. program that I was in was out of the California Institute of Integral Studies. It was this awesome opportunity as an Indian woman to be able to learn at that level, at a Ph.D. level. To learn not only about my own culture and about the worldview of my people, but it offered me an opportunity to learn through the culture in a cultural way, and I was able to do it on my own reservation.

I lived on my reservation in the town of [Inchalam]. I was able to live there on the reservation in my home, and then each quarter we would travel out somewhere in the world and study with other indigenous cultures about their traditional knowledge. We were able to study with Mayans, Polynesians, Hawaiians and Africans about their traditional knowledge. It was just an incredible experience of being in the presence of these other cultures who are so much like my own. To be able to go down to the Yucatan and stand there in front of the temple Cucultan and feel at home because so much of the teachings were so much like my own.

It was fascinating because we’re standing there and then [Hunbatsman] who is a Mayan Day Keeper, said, “Welcome back.” I said, “I don’t understand, I’ve never been here before.” I thought maybe he thought that I was somebody else. And he goes “No, you have been here before. Welcome back.” And I said “Oh, thank you.” Then I got it.

So I got to study about the indigenous worldview, it’s called the traditional knowledge of indigenous people. And I got to study more about the western scientific worldview. The program was about the ability to be able to talk to scientists about the tribal mind or to talk to tribal people about western science. And find that place where we can hold both in an appropriate way that helps to nourish our planet rather than it being which one is more dominant than the other.

Just even thinking about it, thinking about my own experience, about the whole concept of giving because giving is just so central to our culture. It’s an expectation. There are so many teachings around it. It’s about building relationships in a culture where relationships are paramount.

We have our giveaways—it’s this ceremony that we have. It could be very small, it could be very big, but it’s these ceremonies that we have that are about relationships. It’s a ceremony around giving. It doesn’t have to be anything monumental. It could be something very simple. Like even if I were to rejoin the Pow Wow circle, then so when I asked permission to be able to rejoin the Pow Wow circle and I had a new outfit. I would need to have a giveaway and that giveaway then becomes an expression of my deep appreciation for my relationship with my community. And so it’s a way to crystallize that, it’s a way to embrace that. It’s a way to build and nurture the relationships that we have with ourselves and with others and especially with the larger community. Anytime that we’re happy about something or thankful or appreciative about something, we give.

You just want to give. Like in our language it’s a [cukcuks]. It can be translated in English to mean “thank you,” but what it really means is that I have just this deep appreciation because you have done a great deal for me. And so it’s just out of this deep appreciation and this sense of belonging that you give away, and I think that that’s what it’s about.

To me the work that I love, the work that I do is about a preservation of a culture and a worldview that I think is so powerful and so beautiful that I feel it is a catalyst for social and cultural change. I just feel so passionate about that. I just love it so much that it’s out of that love and that passion that I just want to give my time. I want to give whatever it is that I can to help, where I see that it’s something that people really need. It’s how I fill a gap with the gifts that I have and where can I belong in that community. To belong is a part of this giving and taking.

Taking is a whole other issue because we have to be willing to be able to take too. And that’s not always easy because then people feel like “Oh, now I owe them something.” But the taking and the giving is this commitment to this relationship and so they are both very important. But I think that the most important point is that what my culture teaches me is that relationships are sacred and giving is a part of that expression.

It almost feels like I feel impelled to give in many ways because I feel so strongly. I think that I see that in a lot of people that give of their time, give to a cause. I think that you just feel impelled. It’s like the way the spirit expresses itself. It’s something that I think is so incredible and so beautiful. I see it in other people. I know the time and the effort that they’ve put into something. And now because time is so precious to so many people, I don’t even think that words could really express to people the appreciation that I feel many times. Appreciation for the time, the effort and their own energy and spirit that they’ve put into a lot of these different activities or movements or causes or processes that we go through.

Well, I’m going to cry because as soon as I think about those people and where this comes from . . . In our tradition, we have the passing of the bundle where each generation passes down something and they hand it to you. That was handed to me by many of the elders that I grew up with and I can think of them. I can think of Rose Tameo, I can think of Gib Eli, I can think of Jeannete Timentwa. I can think of Sara Peterson. I can think of my grandmother and Cecilia Smith and Madeline Disatetl and all of these elders throughout my life that just gave. They were just so excited just for me to come and just to be in their presence and to have company. They felt so appreciative just to have someone want to talk to them and want to know what they knew. They loved their culture so much. They just loved it and they embraced it so much and they just wanted to give all the time.

I always felt so inadequate in being able to receive such a beautiful gift and the spirit in their giving. I always felt so inadequate because I wished I could have held it better or that I could be better at turning around and giving to other people. To see, to know and to understand the history of our people and our culture and to realize and understand why they embraced it and loved it so much and why it was so important to pass it on. And why it felt so good to have somebody willing to listen, to learn, to take that bundle and to be willing to hold it and take it on its next journey to the next generation.

It’s this intergenerational giving, it’s so incredibly powerful, and I feel so humbled in receiving it. So there’s this incredible sense of responsibility on my part. I just feel so “Oh, my God, how am I going to do this?” So that’s how I feel empowered. I take it into my heart, I hold it with my spirit, and then I turn around and that’s when I want to give.

I realized that throughout my life that I had discovered gifts that I had, then you deal with the whole thing of pride and those kinds of things. It wasn’t until I got to my 30s and 40s, especially in my 40s, when I realized these are gifts and I need to use them and not to get caught up into the ego aspect of all of this stuff. It’s not about pride. It’s not about things. It’s not about that. It’s about a gift that was given to me and I need to use it. I need to use it in a way that really comes from my heart, that is in a way that helps to heal or to transform, whatever it takes.

I am a product of my past and I need to really appreciate that. I think that in the larger culture we learn so much about self-flagellation. When can we ever just feel so appreciative of the gifts that we have of our life and all of the different talents that we have? To see how the perceived weaknesses become catalysts for transformation in our lives because they’re our teachers and lead us in directions that we might not have gone before.

Oh, my God, yes.

Yes, they would because they just cherished me. In a lot of my work with the language preservation program with my tribe, I worked with the elderly fluent speakers of three of our different languages. And they just cherished me. They held me so preciously. They were so encouraging and just so loving and they just wanted to give, give, give. Take it, please, as much as we can. And when I would receive it, that was just the most joyous moment for them.

It felt like—it almost feels out of a primal—it’s almost like it’s not complete until somebody receives it. It’s always this urge to give and it’s not quite complete or you can’t relax or you can’t feel peace until somebody receives it. And so there’s this incredible responsibility on the receiving end of it as well as the giving side. I think sometimes we can do that fairly easily. It’s the taking and receiving I think that becomes difficult in our lives.

I don’t know. I think that it’s—probably the most valuable gift that I give and how I pass it on is the gift of respect. When I’m with my children and other children, because I worked in a youth residential treatment center for drug and alcohol addiction, the giving comes in. The giving of love, the giving of understanding, the giving of attention, of affection, of respect, and that in itself is transformative. I mean, to show respect to young drug and alcohol addicted youth who have probably never felt respect in their lives but just want so much to feel valued. To do that, and then what they give back was just so incredible.

So I’m in this treatment center, everybody is having problems with the kids. [They’re saying: the kids have] attitude problems and they need to straighten up. They need to be taught a lesson. They need all this kind of stuff. And I thought “Who are you talking about?” This child is so respectful to me. He will do anything if I ask him to. He loves being in my groups and he offers to set the chairs up and he offers to take them down.

People were beginning to notice that these young men and women would act differently in and around the groups and the activities that I would do. But I would do them in a culturally appropriate way and it was in a respectful way. And I think just modeling it and just doing it, then it’s like there’s something inside that touches their spirit that makes them want to do that, too. It wasn’t an expectation. I didn’t tell them this is how you have to behave, you have to give. It’s never about a verbal instruction to do something. It’s just about how you presence yourself in the company of other people and how that triggers and inspires something within their own spirit to do that which is incredible. I mean, especially with those young people and my own children, I can see that in them. They always want to give, and it’s so cool just to see it. It is so awesome.

I truly, truly believe in just even how we can do it in the privacy of our own lives. Of not giving and receiving in a way where there’s strings attached, where the giving is like you’re expecting something back. It’s this unconditional kind of giving but when it happens, there’s something incredible that happens as a result of it. It changes the dynamics of relationships just within the immediate environment and if we can begin to make those kinds of changes, then I think that it affects a larger culture . . .

I’m just so convinced that we live in an addictive society. And these wonderful concepts of giving and respect and the values that we have, they get so twisted that we end up with results that are just opposite of what we really wanted in the first place. So how can we get out of that addictive paradigm in our lives and to really give from our hearts? I think that what you’d see is the really powerful changes that happen in people. You hear it in the news, you read about it. I mean, I’m always touched when I read about people and the kind of work that they do and so much of it has to do about giving, even if it’s just giving themselves. And if they can’t give themselves, like you said, then there’s money that can always go someplace else. I don’t judge that stuff anymore.

I see it in my own community and I see it a lot. Now I’m beginning to kind of venture out into more of a national community and I’m beginning to recognize it on all different fronts. It just touches me, it really moves me, and it inspires me. Especially if you know what it’s like to get really busy and stuff and you just get lost in that. And then somebody is there. And they’re giving you something really precious, even if it’s just like they’re looking at you and they really want to know how you feel, how you’re doing. It changes the whole day. It’s a very transformative. What would you call it? Is there a word for it? A transformative experience, process? I don’t know what it is. I think it’s beyond behavior.

I’m a person who needs to see it, hear it, touch it, feel it. I would love to see it in a video because there’s something that emanates from people as they talk. There’s something that you see in them, that you experience visually as you’re listening that is just so incredible that there’s no way that words can capture that peace. You actually get to experience the spirit in that way. And sometimes it’s hard to do that through writing, but I would love to listen. When I get to hear and see someone and really get a feel, then that’s where so much is communicated just from that energy that’s coming through them. That would be really neat. I think it would be an incredible learning experience to be able to see where those pieces are nurtured and how they’re nurtured. It would give us some insight into our own communities and where we can begin to nurture those kinds of things.

What I see is that’s how the spirit expresses itself, so I think that generosity is an expression of the spirit. It feels like something that you feel moved to do and if you just follow that movement and that flow, that’s when you feel like you’re in the flow of life. When you honor that and you’re with it, then you’re in that flow of life and there are no regrets. It feels good, it feels right, it feels centered, it feels grounded.

And that’s why I say when it’s giving out of our addictions or out of our addictive processes, then it’s when the strings are attached. That’s when we use it for manipulations and those kinds of things, but if it’s out of the spirit (generosity is an expression of spirit) and we go with that, then it’s that you are in the flow of life. It’s almost like it’s right, it’s perfect. It’s almost like this is what you’re supposed to be doing in this moment.

You did ask me a question about if there were any teachings, and there is one teaching in our culture that really inspires me and that I love to tell.

This Saturday is our solstice and so we celebrate that. That’s our beginning of time. At that time we give thanks for our relationships, our family. We make solstice gifts for each other. We draw names and we choose one person in our family, and we make a gift that honors our relationship with that person. Then we offer our prayers for each person and our thanks for things that have happened in our lives the previous year.

But also it’s about the sun is coming back. With the sun comes the first foods, our sacred foods, which are roots. There’s a story about that that was really a story about giving—giving in its most powerful way. It’s a philosophy of life, that’s what I was telling you, that’s so integral to our worldview and our cultural values.

In this story, the animals and the root people and the underwater people and the berry people all get together and they’re all talking. Then there’s all of this commotion going on because there are new animals that are coming. It’s the two-leggeds that are coming. And when the two-leggeds come, they’re going to change life. It’s not going to be like it was before. They’re going to walk on two legs; they’re going to speak a different language. Things are going to change and it’s going to be different.

So all of the chiefs got together. We had [spekun] which is our Chief Bitterroot, we had [teett] which is our Chief Salmon which is chief of all of the underwater people, and then we had Chief [seatt] which is [sarvisberry] who was the chief of all of the good fruit people, and then we had [samaheest] which is Bear who is the chief of all of the animal people.

And so they all got together and they were trying to figure out what are they going to do and how can they welcome these new people. They were thinking and thinking and they told Bear, they said “Well, we respect you and we honor your judgment. We want you to be able to tell us what we need to do.” So Bear thought and he thought. After a time of really contemplating what it is that they could do to welcome these new people, then he decided.

He said, “I know what I’m going to do. He said I’m going to lay my life down. I’m going to lay my life down for these people in order to sustain them, to feed them and to clothe them.” And so he did. He laid his life down. All of the chiefs and all of the different people they gathered around Bear and they just wept and they grieved. They wanted him to come back. They danced around him and prayed for him to come back to life. But nothing was working. And they felt this incredible loss.

All of a sudden here comes Fly. She’s the smallest of all of them but she has a powerful song that she sings. So she dances around Bear and she sings her song and then Bear comes back to life again. And so then they all celebrated and they were just happy that Bear was back. Then Salmon says, “I, too, will lay my life down and all of the underwater people will lay their lives down, too.” And Chief Bitterroot says, “I, too, will lay down my life and so will all of the underground root people.” And then Chief Sarvisberry says, “I, too, will lay my life down and so will all of the good fruit people.”

Then they all danced and sang. The teaching is that they need to take care of these human people and that in turn the humans need to take care of them. It’s that giving, it’s the giving of his life, the giving of their lives, it’s the most sacred of giving and those are the teachings of our people.

But it also talks about renewal and the sacredness of this relationship that we have with all of creation. It’s not just a rhetorical kind of relationship that we need to kind of philosophize and to talk about. But it’s the most sacred and that’s what inspires me. I would tell that story every spring as we’re getting ready to dig roots.

It would be fun to hear other stories from other cultures and other people and their lives, their family stories. It would be neat because I would learn so much.

Every year the kids knew, too. So when I said, “Now we’re going out to the root digging fields. So what are we going to do?” And they said, “We’re going to keep it clean and we’re going to leave it the way we found it. And when we take out the roots, then we’ll pat down the earth.” So it was like all of the respect that came from that story of how those people had given their lives for us. Here we’re going out to dig roots again. Those roots are laying their lives down for us—how are we going to give back?

Yes. I just wanted to just scream, just celebrate so much because I thought this is what our elders, this is how our people taught each other and this is how we learn to be in the world. It felt so good to see it recreated. It came through the example.

I feel very fortunate. I’ve had some really awesome teachers and that’s why I cry when I talk about them. I am so deeply appreciative.

They are. They’re very happy. They cry when they hear me speaking the language.

So it feels good.

Thank you for the opportunity to talk about it because it just makes me feel good when I think about those people and the kids.